W.A.LT: to use show not tell write to imply and read to infer.
I am at school doing my school work and suddenly i pass out on the table. My head was getting woozy and my eye of site was getting blurry all of a sudden my head is on the table and i can’t see anything Friends are trying to help me but i am still lying there with my head on the table. The teachers call 111. The ambulance comes and takes me away to a place i don’t know about. I wake up in a room with one big light hanging above me and i am laying on a table. I can hear the loud footsteps coming over to me, suddenly a man in all white leans over me and says “hi” i scream as loud as i can but then i realized that i am in the middle on nowhere. I am thinking what to do? To be continued…
if anyone wants to give me some feed back it will really help me in my writing and i respond to your feed back
What i found hard: what i found hard is checking my work
What i found easy: coming up the the idears to write.
What i could do next time: i think i can put in some more writing.